Captivated or Insecure

 “I remember my childhood names for grasses and secret flowers. I remember where a toad may live and what time the birds awaken in the summer -- and what trees and seasons smelled like -- how people looked and walked and smelled even. The memory of odors is very rich.” ― John Steinbeck, East of Eden

 It  was dark brown with a white inner, it was long and portly and had curled itself spreading totally on the grill door. The  inner wooden door was hanging open. I quickly resolved and shut the wooden door while pulling my son in doors. As  we sighed, my husband told me it was a harmless water snake and must have slithered owing to the heavy rains. I recalled another occasion, when I  had seen a viper entwine the hibiscus plant and later spread itself on the roof of the branches not knowing how to escape. I rushed to the terrace and looked down smugly to see it struggle. There I felt a vicious joy surge in as it struggled in despair. I  kept looking on as, they say, encountering fear kills fear.

From the first day of our stay in that rowhouse we experienced fear and joy of animals visiting us. The row house had a small backyard which opened into the prohibited area of a three km artificial forest and faced a huge man made lake with pigeons resting all around the trees which lined the lake. The fenced compound wall was lined by huge trees. In summer we had monkeys which would climb up on the terrace wall and terrify  with their menacing looks and chatter. I used to keep the doors locked and the glass windows sealed. The king fisher and other birds would at times screech and  make many fearful noises late in the night and early in the morning making me  dread thinking that it must have been a cue about the escaped panther or the man eating lion in the jungle. The mornings were exquisite with the chirping of birds, and squeaking of squirrels which would  bashfully  pick the biscuit kept for it on the parapet wall. Over the years I felt terrorised watching lizards, chameleons,snakes,eagles and crabs, more than ever the  huge crab which had walked out of the lake during a lashing rain to crawl up the grill door. It never moved the whole night, but we did not see it in the morning. Gradually I overcame the fear and got friendly with nature and loved being one of them. I never felt the solitude as I was always amongst some animal or the beautiful panorama.

One of those days my husband bought this flat in one of the crowded locales. We wanted a home of our own and moved into this flat.  Now when I look out, I can see people around signifying life. The building expands to large vastness with minimum space wasted. The ground has been plastered with cement and the entrance of each area is paved with expensive tiles.There is not a spot wilderness. The plants are fixed in grooves of sand and plastered with cemented surroundings, many a times resembling chained victims. The huge trees in the forest areas would sway wildly with wind resembling people but here I found the trees looking frail and  sophisticated in their restricted movement like men. There were very few of them. We bought a few plants and began a terrace garden. Still the growth never matches the ones fixed in soil. In the rowhouse it was difficult and required great pains to keep the surroundings clean, leave water for birds and do many more errands while sweeping the surroundings clean, but these cemented locales are easy to clean and look neat.  

I see a few crows flying around finding no space to perch, the pigeons  building nests in  few spaces between the drain pipes or  a few neglected window sills adamantly demanding their space. I seemed one amidst nature in the forest area home and here I find  wilderness one in the midst of people. There are no animals, no chirping of early morning birds, there’s loud noise of the security guard’s blowing whistle, but it is safe, very safe but then why do I miss the magnificence of nature, why do I yearn for greenery ……………….. . It most certainly reminded me of Gouri Dange’s article ‘Addicted to concrete’in Pune Mirror newspaper which said ‘As of today, we feel threatened by greenery and comforted by cement’.

 “The planting of a tree, especially one of the long-living hardwood trees, is a gift which you can make to posterity at almost no cost and with almost no trouble, and if the tree takes root it will far outlive the visible effect of any of your other actions, good or evil.” 

― George Orwell