Conviction

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” ― Maya Angelou

I saw tears flow as she tugged my hand and pulled me across, we stood in the line where a mass of devotees stood. We were on the right side,the side where all women stood. It was a special evocation (Aarti) to gain blessings of Shirdi Saibaba, a saint who has been a source of miracle in the lives of his devotees. We stood in deep silence, engrossed in the tranquillity and peace of the place. I wondered at the overwhelming response and their tears. Were they tears of joy on realising truth enforced through trust? They say anguish  in one’s life spews out as tears due to the undeterred belief in God. The trials and tribulations in life make us powerful and help us grow. My mother would often recite the couplet written by Sant Kabir which summons one to recall God in the good times warding off evils in the bad times while keeping one in bliss thereafter.

 I recalled her words when I was upset with the world as I sat in the hospital with my son who was then seven years old. He had got hurt while playing dodge ball. He somehow managed to push his bicycle and come home. I saw his swollen arm, put a sling around his neck after consulting my brother who had suspected a fracture. I took him to the nearby hospital. Tears spilled out of my eyes when I saw my little son in pain. I felt it was great injustice done by God. Now it meant all the treatment and more distress for the child. I remembered my mother’s words again and  felt God had bestowed us with profuse pain in some way or the other though we were his staunch devotees. We consulted the bone specialist who sent us to the X ray room to know the gravity of the situation. On entering the room I found a young lad left alone on the table. He was an accident victim with multiple fractures. His legs were covered with bandage, his hands and forehead also had bandages. We rushed out in fear. I quickly looked towards the other side to see a lady kneeling down. There was deep grief but she prayed. We went back and sat in the hospital lounge after the doctor treated my son for completing a few more formalities. I saw a young boy speaking to his sister saying that their father should have taken care and also that had their father not climbed the slanting roof this would not have happened. Things began falling  in place now. The lady who was kneeling was praying for her husband and these were her children. I began realising that my sorrow was much lesser than many of them around.  My son recovered soon and managed fine. We brought him a bigger bicycle and gave enough courage to move ahead. I understood that mishaps are common but we learn to be cautious while taking care of ourself and others by being prudent in life.  I realised that God has something in store for everyone, we do get hurt physically and at times a  few incidents affect our psyche  drawing us into disappointment making one deplore reality, but time teaches us to move ahead in life bringing about the insight that divinity has many more vivid pictures for us to enjoy and rejoice. When this enlightenment draws, tears spill out of our eyes in thankfulness and gratitude for the almighty.

“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.” ― Paulo Coelho