An Expedition: One step in the path of Edification

As I kept the book “Positive Discipline” aside, memories deluged and everything seemed as if it had transpired recently. It was a rainy day, the morning attendance time for the class. I had begun with the prayer as the school assembly was cancelled. I noticed a couple standing at the doorway with their daughter. I gestured them to wait as I completed the prayer and led myself towards the doorway. The parents told me that she was admitted in class eight. I acknowledged being the class teacher. I glanced at the girl who was a little plump and short with two plaits, immaculately dressed. Her mother longed to speak something more but decided not to. I smiled at the girl who was looking at me predisposed. I took her aside and asked her to introduce herself to the class as usual. She declined. I made her sit in the first row as I always did to make the child feel at home. Since that day she sat on the same bench at the same place and refused to move according to the rotation of seats. She was mischievous and naughty like any other child. Each day the girls would complain about her misbehaviour but she would look at me forlornly as if she were not at fault. One day she fell down in the playground and that was the day I realised that she suffered from epilepsy."It was a fall in the childhood which caused this misery",said the parent. Within two days she was back to her normal self. By now she had adapted herself to the class. She was meticulous in her work, listened carefully, marked every important aspect and had the seriousness of any gifted child but unfortunately she never retained information in the exams. She could only remember when the clues were given. Hence she did well in the English paper. When I would approve others of their performance in the exam she would raise her hand and I would approve her efforts too. She loved it and would carry a beaming smile throughout the day. The class moved to standard nine and I moved as their class teacher. The strength of the class increased and it was now divided into two sections but she was with me. She was dependable in the day to day happenings much more than I was. She would remind me of the absentees, the homework given, the money to be collected for various activities. She was forever there to hand over a pencil, pen or scissors lacking in my pouch. When she would get tired playing in the hot sun she would rush back to the class where I preferred sitting when the class was empty to complete my work. She could run the smart board and surf activities. In all ways she appeared normal but she could never commit to memory in the exam. I encouraged the virtues she held. Gradually every one began liking her as I would proclaim that she was my favourite. Initially it was to save her from those who oppressed her but progressively she actually turned out to be my preferred. Her eyes spoke volumes about her. During the annual day celebrations she was contented with her role but wanted to dance. Her parents were pleased with her progress. We moved to class tenth and were closer now. I could see her grow more confident. At times when I would admonish her then I could see the agony in her eyes .I would quickly change the tone and tell her my work pressures as a cause and she would smile reassuringly. She would brief me about the class whenever she met me and the class would look at her menacingly but my smile would comfort them. The class had to opt for the boards as we did not have standard 11^th in the school and she appeared for it courageously. I rummaged for her result praying God that she should clear the exam but she turned out to be the only one for improvement. I felt a dull pain within me. On contacting the Board they said that she needed to appear for the improvement exam. I knew that ten improvement exams would not bring the desired change in her performance. The last time when I met her, I saw her withdrawn and reluctant to meet me. Her mother brought her to me after a lot of coaxing. I spoke to her reassuring her of the strengths she had and looked deep into her eyes. There was anxiety and dismay which I could never expunge from my mind. Over the years of togetherness, she understood me better. Somewhere I felt I had lost the trust and faith a student cherishes in the teacher. Her disappointment had let down the teacher in me.