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Positive Reception through words



“It's funny how, in this journey of life, even though we may begin at different times and places, our paths cross with others so that we may share our love, compassion, observations, and hope. This is a design of God that I appreciate and cherish.” ― Steve Maraboli 

The speaking tree column by Janina Gomes ‘Know That You Have it in You’ on the 28th Feb on contempt left me contemplating the vast and diminutive issues which may have influenced one’s life in their personal sphere, at their workplace or in their social life. It said contempt for anybody- the less privileged, the vulnerable people of other faiths, women, those who live independently, the differently abled-the mentally challenged  could percolate down the different strata of society. It set me pondering on the saying as it definitely confirmed how people enjoy hurting others and inflicting pain through words of scorn and hatred. It reminded me notably of the incident which occurred a few days back.
                          With the onset of spring the days have slowly begun turning   hotter. It was one of these hot afternoons when one could feel the  high temperature in the atmosphere. The play school children who normally linger in the garden with their mothers till half past one had gone back home. The watch man was back into his cabin after his rounds and the stillness in the complex, and on the roads was significant. I heard the loud resonance of our calling bell and rushed  to the door hoping the visitor wouldn't press the bell a second time due to the impatience I felt in the first call. I peeped through the peep hole to see the  figure of a woman with two long sticks very close to the grill door, stopping me from opening the door. I now peeped cautiously and found that it was none other than my maid. I quickly opened the door wondering what had gone wrong as she had finished her work in the morning. She had bought two long cobweb brooms and stood in the corridor for approval. She looked worn out with the day’s work, the chill in the early morning and the afternoon heat had left her skin dark dry and shrunken but still,  she looked at me hopefully for a consent. I looked at  her inquisitively as she beamed and reminded me that I was the one who requested her to bring it . I acknowledged nodding my head and asked her the price so that I could pay and send her off but she wanted me to know that she had found the vendor faraway when she was returning home and had come to give it as the vendor would not be allowed in the premises. Perhaps my curtness for paying the money made her  sad as I could sense her disappointment. I hastily smiled as I asked her to give the cobweb broom. She asked me my choice and tore the plastic sheet from the covered head to show that she was giving me the better piece and it was actually a better one with a static broom head while she kept the plastic broom head for herself. I rushed in and brought a hundred rupee note and thrust it in her palms. She looked at me saddened and said that she had paid the hawker and did not need the money immediately .I told her that I could forget the transaction and compelled her to take it and sent her home so that I could continue the incomplete work which was left. I understood that she wanted to be approved  for having been practical 
The next day when my maid came for work I told my husband that she  had bought the cobweb broom relinquishing  her precious time in the afternoon..  This was  to help my maid over come the disappointment she had felt the previous day. She was  pleased with the appreciation and explained the whole deal to my husband in Marathi with a quiver and  a  shrill pitch in her voice which justified the delight she felt. Janina’s column reminded me that how contempt surges with ease  for the under privileged. My maid had trusted me with her money but  would I have the same faith first if I  had mislaid anything at home? The burglary in one of the flats had evidences pointed at the maid first and then at the watchman. We not only hold them responsible but shower words of disapproval rather than appreciation. Janina says that those who hold others in contempt do so out of their own inadequacies and frustration and that those who know the true meaning and purpose of life uplift lives through appreciation. It also helped me figure out how a optimistic person finds the world positive and the words delivered by such an individual are never mocking or sarcastic while a person filled with resentment tries to haul words of hatred, conceivably trying to experience peace for himself in the deliverance that life has been harsh towards him. The elation felt by my maid for having been useful to me was great strength and joy for her as reflected in Janina’s words which say ‘Appreciation heals divisions,builds bridges and adds to our strengths,it helps us with self affirmation and  brings positive forces into play giving the ‘Feel good’ Feeling.
                       Lets resolve to stop being  unkind and traumatise others with words of contempt and make the world a better place to live.

.
“Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well.” ― Voltaire


Comments

  1. Anon3 March 2014 at 07:09

    Yes, but can someone say why it is so rare in India? I found that people in western countries are far more generous with praise. Is that a reason why young talented Indians prefer to work in America rather than in India? Let us resolve to give a compliment promptly - then and there - as soon as it is due.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Enthralling Trails- Jyothi Ramesh Pai 4 March 2014 at 01:25

    Thank you sir, I genuinely wish people answer this question of yours. Don't know the reason but people lose their humility and gain pride for the slightest gain in status, Perhaps this would have been embed if we knew the politeness principles,

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown11 March 2014 at 00:52

    Timely appreciation works as a tonic and a feel good factor for both the giver and the receiver -provided it is genuine!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Enthralling Trails- Jyothi Ramesh Pai 22 March 2014 at 05:19

    thanks for reading vimala, true otherwise it would be called flattery.

    ReplyDelete

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