Resentment and Pacification

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha

The shop owner was a  young lady who seemed busy as she handed a beautiful glass framed poster of horses to the buyer. She had cautiously wrapped it with a newspaper and showed the purchaser the way of holding it so that she would not drop it.  She was neatly dressed in a saree sporting small pieces of jewellery, her hair loosely tied with a few locks of hair deliberately left to make her look attractive. She was plump and well built. The shop was a tiny one, very near the Mumbai Pune highway, in a lane. The shop had framed pictures of Gods and Goddesses, the sheen of the frames added brilliance to the pictures and the dimly lit shop. The lady was busy attending a Phone call on her mobile, and used crude language while speaking, then her eyes sparkled as she yelled at the speaker asking him to reach early. Just next to her was an inadequate sitting space which was occupied by an old lady.  The lady looked old and was wearing a cotton sari with her hair tied in a bun. She seemed tired but still carried an affectionate look which attracted customers.

It was Independence day, the day was drawing to a close with darkness setting in. There were buildings which were well lit. We had got a little time to clean up and catch up with the pending work. Though we had moved into this house more than a year back we never got sufficient time to beautify the house with artifacts. These posters were bought long back, we wanted to frame these. I asked the lady to show me some sample frames. The old lady handed her a jar, there were a number of samples of  frames in it. The young lady tried pulling those rectangular pieces of sample frames but did not get the appropriate one. She turned and yelled at the old lady saying she did not want such nonsense in front of her customers, and that the frames had to be classified. The old lady took the jar to empty the contents on the ground only to be pulled away by the haughty lady as she emptied it on a paper muttering under her breath. I recalled the dragon breathing out fire for now I wished to walk away, but was joined by my husband.

I began to choose the frame as she told me the rates for framing the posters with glass and acrylic. My husband began admiring the framed posters when his eye fell on a framed poster of a man. He recalled the person as we had met him long back when we had got a  huge poster framed. We were surprised to know he was no more. My husband went on recollecting more and more about the shop and the person. The old lady was overwhelmed and had tears in her eyes as she told us that the man died four years back. The young lady looked at her rudely and told us that most of the customers are his old customers. We did not like the resentment she showed in her anger towards the old lady, but placed the order for the posters for the sake of the old lady who lived there after her husband. There was another customer who came in search of a laminated God’s picture, but the young lady at the counter  had no patience and  yelled at her saying there were no low priced framed pictures. I saw customers come only to return back empty handed due to the lady’s impatience and short temper. We remembered the owner who was a calm  and composed man who loved serving his customers, his customers loved his serene personality and had been his clients over the long years. This young lady seemed to be his daughter in law who was impolite and conceited. Perhaps with time all the old customers who pity the old lady may also stop visiting the shop which was painfully built through love and affection for people.

It reminded me how destructive anger could be. Early in the morning while going to the park, we saw a young pup which was released from its chain, it ran in front of our car. We stopped the car and waited for the man who was ahead to look back, the man in anger hurled the iron chain at the dog which yelped, we wondered whether the reaction was right as the man was boiling with rage early in the morning. Anger causes a rise in adrenalin levels in the blood which increases the heart beat and consequently raises the blood pressure accompanied by a rise in the pitch of our voice, faster breathing rate, tightening of muscles and quiver in the lips with fire-spitting through our eyes which non-verbally conveys nothing but resentment. 

Anger can cause strokes, ulcers and  diseases while turning  into a harsh habit gradually. Anger can be effortlessly conquered, if we discontinue bestowing importance to our ego and practice contemplation, but it is easier when we learn to forgive people and learn to conquer with love.

 It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses. - William Arthur Ward